Today, the name of the newest addition to the Royal Family was revealed to the public: Charlotte Elizabeth Diana, a beautiful name that touchingly honors the memory of Princess Diana. However, the following names for the baby princess are all much, much better:

  • Champ Number-One Queen Baby
  • Princess Diana RIP Luv U 4Eva
  • Scepter Jewels Crown Head VIIIIIII
  • England Rose Candlewind
  • Royal Baby (actual name)
  • Kobe Shaq Iverson Mutombo
  • The Queen Of Mean (make sure she grows up real mean)
  • Charlotte In Charge
  • Our Nation’s Little Cutie
  • @QueenBaby
  • New English Person
  • Stacy
  • Cute Meme
  • Lucky Lil’ Bitch
  • The Godfather Part Two
  • Neil Girlstrong
  • Kid Charlemagne (this is a Steely Dan reference and a reference to Charlemagne, the great 9th Century king. Additionally, it makes use of the song title “Kid Charlemagne” in service of pointing out that we’re discussing a royal infant. This is a great joke.)
  • Stamps.com
  • Mary Moonpuncher
  • Just Girly Thingsā„¢
  • Emerson Lake Palmer
  • charlotte@royalfamily.gov
  • The Reckoning
  • Sports
  • Charles Grodin
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