Full Credits

Written by Lauren Palmigiano

Stats & Data

November 12, 2008

LOS ANGELES, CA – “Morning Joe” host Joe Scarborough slipped and said “fuck” on live television at 8:13 EST Monday morning on MSNBC.  This is the latest in several slip-ups from network anchors ranging from “fuck” on Fox to “cunt” on several news channels. The FCC, in charge of enforcing Standards and Practices on the airways, has surrendered to a new time in television and decided their official position on any future language complaints will be, “fuck it”.

Head Commissioner Ted Coltner expressed a frustration with having to fight the first amendment over and over again. “How many fucking times can I go in front of the courts and whine that people can’t say stuff? I used to be the kid on the playground drawing dragons with hairy twats that spewed fire from their clits. Now I’m the guy complaining about bad words? I’ve turned into my father and he was a real ass face. So fuck it.”

“People fucking say what the fuck they want,” said Commissioner Monahan. “It’s fucking 2008, Carlin is dead, what the cock shit do we care?” Monahan added, “These newsy jack-offs don’t give a rats ass that they're cursing on live TV, so why should we? There are a lot more fucked up things to worry about in this god damn piss poor dick lick ass raping world.”