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October 27, 2008


If your Friday drinking leaves you incapacitated for Saturday night, there is no better entertainment for your dwindling brain cells than “Hannity’s America”.  Well to be honest, our first choice would be to grab a bucket of KFC and find a History Channel documentary on the Donner Party, but as second choices go, "Hannity's America" is tough to beat.  Personally, we prefer to ease into Sean with his lead-in program “Huckabee”, wherein the amiable former Governor of Arkansas, with his jovial certainty in a 6,000 year old earth, straps on his electric bass at the end of each show and rocks the in-house Fox crowd to such tunes as “Drill Here Drill Now”.  Who needs Blueberry Stoli.

Then, just as you're hoping for one more Entwistle-esque bass run, the show is over, the music turns decidedly creepy and Hannity is on the air with his 37th installment of “Obama & Friends: History of Radicalism” .  Look...there’s William Ayers...walking among us...eating our food...and oh so unrepentant you just want to scream....scream in anguish for our land.  He’s the one with the Obama yard sign...that’s MADE OUT OF BOMBS!!!

And who’s that shiftily exiting what appears to be a hall of justice?  Why it’s Tony Rezko.  He’s a Syrian you realize.  A Syrian who traffics in land.  Did you know that for a house and spacious grounds, Obama paid him...ahhh let’s say...four dollars.  But what else did Rezko buy?  How about OBAMA’S SOUL!!!  Does Sean have proof?  Why yes he does, because you see Rezko offered Obama a job and “Obama turned him down”. Christ people what else do you need!

And after Obama’s father left him...to whom did Obama turn?  Why to a black poet named Frank. A poet!  With his rhyming dictionary and feathery dip pens...harmelss huh.  Well no, because you see Frank just happens to be a radical political communist black poet CONTROLLED BY MOSCOW and hellbent on ENDING AMERICAN POWER!!!

Watching Sean repeatedly cut away to a street grid showing just how close to one another these traitors actually live, the viewer is left with only one thought...what a shitty place to Trick-or-Treat.  Can’t you just see those poor local children, with their visions of sweet sweet candy.  And what do they get as they rush from sleeper cell to sleeper cell in their Jeremiah Wright masks clutching their ACORN bags?  C-4 explosives and Islamo-Communist sonnets.

Yes...”Hannity’s America” is a truly scary place.  A place filled with point missing, jut-jawed distortions for clueless, bleating, pseudo-patriotic sheep.  Good thing it’s not real...right?